Sunday, June 22, 2014

An article about the effect of Social Media on the Destination Wedding Budget

Here's an interesting article that Kelsi Welch @kelsiWIV retweeted.  Sunset Beach Weddings is very focused on helping our Brides stay on budget and keep costs down, but we have seen the phenomena of sites like Pinterest and Instagram tempting couples to spend past their budget.  What do you think?



Here comes the debt: How media is changing the way we wed

Updated: Apr 25, 2014 12:22 PM CDT
 
By Weddings in Vieques. Tracy Phillips and Jeff Matthews were married at a waterfront villa on Dec. 7, 2013, in a gorgeous wedding planned by Sandy Malone.
By Weddings in Vieques. Tracy Phillips and Jeff Matthews were married at a waterfront villa on Dec. 7, 2013, in a gorgeous wedding planned by Sandy Malone.

By: Chandra Johnson, Deseret News

When destination-wedding planner Sandy Malone got married in 2004, there was no Pinterest, no Instagram, Facebook was in its infancy and there were few bridal websites to draw from.

Just a decade later, Malone deals with the media's impact on weddings constantly.

"Pinterest is my worst enemy," Malone said. "They put down the deposit, everything's good to go and then they're on Pinterest, they're on Instagram. (The bride) then sees the need to add more things and do more stuff. My clients are so plugged into social media that they even have their own hashtags for their guests. There are a lot of things that are growing with the expansion in the media that are feeding the wedding industry."

According to TheKnot.com, the average cost of a wedding is now $28,427. Not included in The Knot's study is a new arrival to the wedding scene, unveiled at New York's W Hotel this winter: A social media concierge at the venue. The price for a perfectly Instagrammed, hashtagged and live-tweeted affair is a cool $3,000; evidence that social media may become as valued as a professional photographer or wedding planner to today's couples.

In a world where high-cost weddings have the attention of social media, news coverage, advertising and countless reality TV shows, is the media changing the face of weddings, or simply giving audiences what they want?

Elizabeth Fairbanks-Fletcher with the Society for New Communications Research says the media play a big role in telling us what's normal.

"The Internet specifically makes all that information accessible," Fairbanks-Fletcher said. "The media coverage of celebrity weddings is now the benchmark for individuals planning their own. Advertising can spur the interest, but reality TV and the Internet create renewable engagement. They all work together to continually fan the flames of interest."

The media coverage also fans the flames of a business that nets an estimated $80 billion per year.

"Every time some pop star gets married and it's all over the cover of People Magazine, it inspires more girls to have destination weddings. Just like little girls emulate what they see, so do young women who are watching the stars," Malone said. "People joke about how the funeral business is the one business that's always fine. So is the wedding industry. The only difference is there's a lot more room for potential growth without a plague."

Brad Wilcox, a sociologist and the director of the National Marriage Project, says that it isn't just the weddings that have changed - we've changed, too.

Wilcox says that since the 1970s and the advent of no-fault divorce, Americans look at marriage with less permanency and couples may compensate with an elaborate wedding.

"Because there's not much legal protection anymore because of no-fault divorce, it signals that the couple and their family are financially vested in the marriage," Wilcox said. "In some ways, a big wedding is an exclamation point saying, 'we understand the fragility of marriage and despite everything, we're going to get married.' "

Beyond the media

There's research to support Wilcox's claims. A 2010 Pew Research study found that marriage is less common than it once was. In 2008, 52 percent of American adults were married, down from 72 percent in 1960.

Education and class distinction played a major role as well. In 2008, 48 percent of people without a college degree were married, compared to 64 percent of college graduates. In 1960, a college grad was only 4 percent more likely to marry than someone with a high school diploma or less.

"There's a growing marriage divide in America," Wilcox said. "I think one reason is that over-the-top weddings are a barrier to entry into marriage for the working class and poor Americans."

Elevated ideals, serious consequences

Romanticized ideas of marriage and weddings not only play out in the media, but can also have major consequences for new couples that buy into them.

Mary Claire Allvine is a financial adviser who wrote "The Family CFO," for young couples planning their future. She says the media pressure on couples is real and so are the financial ramifications.

"Anytime you see a wedding whether it's in a movie or it's on a television show, these are enormous, complicated affairs. It causes people to become de-linked from their own value structure," Allvine said. "The 'Today Show' will give someone a fantasy wedding. When you put a label on it of 'reality' presented on a news show and don't say this is a massive trade-off where this couple may never get out of credit card debt."

But the struggle also lies with us, she added. As a bride 13 years ago, Allvine got a firsthand look at the pressure the wedding industry puts on couples when she went into the Macy's bridal boutique. She said she found a staff eager to show her gowns that began at $1,500. Allvine walked out.

"I was 35 years old. If I had been 25 and intimidated by the way they said, 'a lot of girls,' it's harder to do that," Allvine said. "If you or your future partner doesn't say, 'That's out of our reach,' at what point is it not the movies' fault but the fault of your own process?"

The younger the couple, the more vulnerable they can be to the message. Lisa Firestone is a California-based clinical psychologist and director of research at the Glendon Association, a nonprofit organization dedicated to addressing suicide, abuse and troubled relationships.

"You don't see older people who are getting married worrying quite so much about this whole thing," Firestone said. "Younger people have grown up where everything about your life is shown in pictures online. Some young people today have grown up with parents having broken marriages and they may be buying into this romanticized idea of the perfect, forever kind of wedding."

That "forever" kind of wedding portrayed so often in the media is a fantasy that can veil real problems.

"It becomes a very shallow focus when we get into the fantasy of the relationships instead of caring about the real content," Firestone said. "It makes people feel like their relationship isn't good enough if they can't do the big, expensive wedding."

Unfortunately, brides and grooms aren't encountering a lot of moderation in either the media or the retail world.

"What you need is a gaggle of women sitting around saying: 'You would look so good retired someday," Allvine said. "Where's the cheerleading crowd for that?"

Malone, whose Puerto Rico-based wedding business has been the subject of the reality show, "Wedding Island," said the media attention isn't all bad.

"There are a lot of TV shows out there that are setting expectations very high. I don't know that that's bad. There's nothing wrong with young girls dreaming about their weddings," Malone said. "We're looking at an industry that's grown when the economy has consistently gone downhill. People may be giving up their cable TV and Starbucks may be full of people that don't have Wi-Fi at home, but they are not giving up on their weddings."

Balancing fantasy and reality

As weddings continue to fascinate through television and social media, many couples are taking matters into their own hands.

That's what Dana LaRue did when she got engaged and became overwhelmed. LaRue's experiences created one of the most popular DIY wedding blogs on the Internet, which shares innovative and resourceful ways to weddings on a budget.

"The media tries to pressure couples into thinking that they need to spend a certain amount of money on this or that element," LaRue said. "There's a great deal of voyeurism happening with reality television and manufactured celebrity events that are publicized. People seem to have this innate desire to peer into these other worlds whether or not we know they're manufactured."

With a mission of "empowering couples to use their creativity" to "save your money and sanity," LaRue's enterprise straddles the line between wedding extravagance and what the site calls "real weddings," where couples can share details of their day and tips for staying on-budget.

"It's not about being cheap, it's about spending smart," LaRue said. "There's a shift in the way couples today approach the expense of a wedding vs. that old-fashioned mentality of having to spend $20,000-$50,000 on one day of your life."

One piece of advice Malone gives couples? Focus finances toward what's most important. Malone gets all kinds of over-the-top requests from brides-to-be.

"My favorite is the girl that wanted elephant rides on the beach. I actually researched how to rent an elephant," Malone said. "I have to put up a tipi for a wedding in April. They didn't ask me about it, they just said, 'We're shipping you a tipi.' "

LaRue also suggests tailoring tradition to individual needs, no matter how much pressure may be coming from TV or computer screens.

"At the end of the day, it really is up to you what you do or don't include. And if somebody's going to judge you for that, that's their problem, not yours," LaRue said. "It's really about following your own heart."


Original Post

Copyright 2013 Deseret Digital Media, Inc.


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Tuesday, June 10, 2014

An article - things that wedding vendors believe make a bad bride

Here's an article from Bride's Magazine discussing what makes a bad bride in the eyes of her vendors.  Do you think these points are reasonable?  Crazy?  Normal?

Here at Sunset Beach Weddings, we don't generally see this kind of behavior but we do see how the stress of planning a wedding can add to the anxiety of a bride.

We say, come to the beaches of Florida to get married and leave all this nonsense at home!

11 ways to be a terrible bride

Brides
By Elizabeth Mitchell, Brides Magazine
June 5, 2014 -- Updated 2122 GMT (0522 HKT)
Everyone loves a good wedding movie -- especially when the guests are behaving terribly. Here are a few of our favorite faux pas from films. "<strong>Wedding Crashers": </strong>Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson make a habit of crashing strangers' weddings, feasting on the freebies and occasionally making, uh, friends with tipsy bridesmaids such as Isla Fisher, left, in this 2005 comedy.Everyone loves a good wedding movie -- especially when the guests are behaving terribly. Here are a few of our favorite faux pas from films. "Wedding Crashers": Vince Vaughn and Owen Wilson make a habit of crashing strangers' weddings, feasting on the freebies and occasionally making, uh, friends with tipsy bridesmaids such as Isla Fisher, left, in this 2005 comedy.
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STORY HIGHLIGHTS
  • It's your special day, but flexibility goes a long way toward a sane, smooth event
  • This person is your wedding planner, not your BFF or family go-between
  • Trust your wedding planner and don't sweat the small stuff
  • You're assigned deadlines for a reason, so stick to them
(CNN) -- Your wedding planner is there to help you bring your dream wedding to life. That said, a wedding planner is not your personal assistant or your family therapist -- even if some brides believe that's part of the job description. Of course, planners can't tell their clients they're acting like a bridezilla, but they can tell us!
Here, wedding planners reveal the things they don't have the heart to say to your face. Take notes, ladies.
1. "We want you to make your own decisions. This is your wedding. Yes, flexible couples are the dream to any planner but indecisive clients can be a nightmare. It makes both of our roles so much more difficult when a client can't make a single decision without us. The perfect combination is a nice collaboration of ideas." -- Celebrity event designer Brett Galley from Hollywood POP
2. "You are not a professional event planner so please stop acting like you know everything about weddings after reading two blog articles and surfing Pinterest." -- Event planner Shimona Mayo, author of "Power Plays for Brides"
3. "I cannot be your secret-bearer. If you want to lie to your family about wedding costs, do so on your own and leave me out of it!" -- Celebrity wedding planner Donnie Brown of Donnie Brown Weddings and Events
4. "Our contract clearly outlines what we have offered to assist you with. We often go above and beyond this, but sometimes you take advantage. We are not your personal assistants."-- Mindy Home, senior events manager at AE Events

Pop culture\'s best wedding dressesPop culture's best wedding dresses

Bride has unique dress accessory, a baby!

Taking the royal plungeTaking the royal plunge
5. "I'm not your friend, I'm your wedding planner. Don't call me to cry about fights with your bridesmaids or the groom. If it's a real problem, email me to schedule a conference call. But share your personal trials and tribulations with your mother and maid of honor. I'm not being paid to hear the details about how badly behaved some of your wedding party and family are prior to arrival unless you think they're going to misbehave at the actual wedding. The only reason to call me after 9 p.m. without a prescheduled call is if the groom is on fire and if you are getting married next week." -- Professional wedding planner Sandy Malone of Weddings in Vieques
6. "We cannot stop time, create more time or get your time back. We'd love it if we could! We give you deadlines for a reason. If they aren't followed, unfortunately you may lose time, lose a vendor or incur rush fees."-- Sojourner Auguste, owner of Erganic Design
7. "Don't get hyper focused on certain layout details. Where your cake table goes or what side the favor box is on is not something that you need to stress about. Many times wedding planners make game day decisions on layout and you, and especially your guests, will never know the difference. Let the wedding planner worry about the minutiae." -- Robyn Bruns, president of Red Letter Event Planning
8. "Do not call, text and email on the same issue within a short timespan. I usually have a rapid fast response time and my clients know this, but they should also know that I can't respond when I am meeting with another client or vendor. Leaving a voicemail and then following up five minutes later with an email to say, 'I left you a voice mail" and then a text that says, "Please check your voice mail' 10 minutes after that doesn't help you get a response sooner." -- Tracie Domino, founder and creative director of Tracie Domino Events
Stay in touch!
Don't miss out on the conversation we're having at CNN Living. Follow us on Twitter and Facebook for the latest stories and tell us what's influencing your life.
9. "Wedding planners and designers don't make as much money as you think. This job is a labor of love. Sometimes when someone asks about the cost of my services their eyes get big and I hear, 'Oh you're rich.' What you have to take into account are how many hours I have to work in order to earn my fee. I pay for my gas, overhead, health insurance, staff. In other words, I am an independent contractor. Most weddings I plan are at least 12 months away. So in order to get a better idea of how much I make, take my fee and divide that by 365 days." -- Certified green event designer Veronica Cole
10. "A wedding theme is just that, one theme! Not a whole mix match of Pinterest concepts all mashed together. There is such a thing as too much." -- Matiana Mitchell of Matiana Mitchell Designs
11. "Unless he wants to go, don't drag your fiancĂ© to all of your appointments (and be OK with it!)" -- Gabriela Solano, wedding planner at VIDA Floral and florist on BloomNation.com
Is there something you're dying to tell a badly behaved bride? Let it out in the comments below, on CNN Living's Facebook page or on Twitter @CNNLiving!

--
Ken and Heather Delo
Sunset Beach Weddings
(850) 366-8054

Like us on Facebook for more photos: www.facebook.com/sunsetbeachwed
Twitter: @sunsetbeachwed

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Monday, June 2, 2014

Sending Wedding mail that's beautiful, timely, and easy on the Bride!

You've planned and planned for your wedding!  You're almost there!  Now it's time to mail your invitations!  We at Sunset Beach Weddings recently received a tip booklet from the Postal Service with some valuable information on making your invitation process easier.

This info is great for the traditional wedding and also for your beach destination wedding in Panama City Beach, on the Beaches of 30a, or in Destin, Florida.  www.usps.com recommends the following checklist:

Save the Date: 3 Months before the Wedding.

Wedding Invitation: 6-8 Weeks before the Wedding.  Include a reply card (with option that you might like selected (food choices, etc) and a reception card (with directions to the reception if different from the ceremony site).

Wedding Announcement (optional): The day after the wedding.  For family, friends, and colleagues who weren't on the guest list but who will want to know about the nuptials.

Thank you Notes: Within the month following your honeymoon.  For gifts received on your wedding day.  And immediately for gifts received before the wedding.

TIP:  Only purchase postage after you've assembled your invites, so you can weigh an envelope, all inserts included, to determine which stamps you'll need.  Most invites are between 1 and 2 ounces, and the Weddings series stamps pair a 1-ounce forever stamp with a 2-ounce 70-cent stamp for flexibility.

TIP:  Send a test invitation to yourself before the reset are mailed.  You'll confirm you've used the proper post and and have a copy of your invite -- complete with a local postmark -- to save.

There are some interesting wedding and love related stamps that the postal service offers, and there are online services that will print personalized stamps as well, so go online or into your local branch to check them out!  

-- 
Ken and Heather Delo
Sunset Beach Weddings
(850) 366-8054

 
Like us on Facebook for more photos: www.facebook.com/sunsetbeachwed
Twitter: @sunsetbeachwed

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